Albel's wacky cooking show!
by frickin'weird
Summary: Albel, Fayt and Sophia are transported to the set of a cooking show, where they're forced to cook in exchange for their freedom. Warning: There is total Sophia bashing and hating in this story. Do not proceed if this offends you!


Albel's Wacky Cooking Show!

By the creator of the "Ask Me Anything!" Show (Seki, my character, will be present.)

Warning! Sophia's may be bashed, smashed, and otherwise totally obliterated. Do NOT read if you are offended by this most obvious form of Sophia-bashing. Also, Albel will be in a frilly, pink apron. No, I do not have a death wish.

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Albel Nox, the Wicked appears on the set of one of those cooking shows from (where else?) the Cooking Channel (yum). He looks about him, obviously puzzled, but covers it up with a displeased scowl.

Albel: Why the hell am I here again, maggots?

Seki appears from nowhere to Albel's right. Fayt and Sophia also appear out of nowhere, with Fayt at Albel's left and Sophia being across the counter and on the side with the stove/oven-thingy.

Seki: The authoress couldn't think of anything else to do. So, here you are. (Starts to vanish) Have fun!

Group:...(heavy sweatdrop)

Fayt(always the instigator of events): Well, I suppose we're stuck here for now. (Sophia nods in happy agreement with Fayt...Airhead)

Albel: To hell with that! I'm getting out of here and no maggot-of-a-writer is going to stop me.

Albel's going to regret that. Just as Albel starts in a huffy walk toward the exit, a puff of smoke surrounds him and Sophia disappears from her spot behind the stove as Albel reappears. In a frilly, pink apron...over his clothes, of course! (A/N:...I'm sorry. I just HAD to add that. You people and your gutter-minds!)

Authoress' booming voice: Since you're sooooo desperate to leave Albel, you can be the cook instead of Sophia. (An audience appears in the stands and all lights are now on Albel) And, to top it off, you are to cook...(drum roll please)...tomato soup!

Everyone:...(sweatdrop)

Fayt: Why tomato soup?

Authoress' BV: I LIKE tomato soup. Is there a PROBLEM with tomato soup? (Another pink apron appears above Fayt's head)

Fayt(gulps and becomes nervous): Uh...nope! No problem at all with tomato soup! Nuh-uh! Right, Sophia? (turns to Sophia, who has just recently appeared to the left of Fayt)

Before Sophia can even say anything, the floor underneath her launches her through the (solid and concrete) ceiling towards Australia. Those poor kangaroos.

Authoress' BV: Quite honestly, I don't really care for airhead opinions. So, less Sophia and more cooking, if you don't mind.

Albel: I'm not cooking sh-

SHITAKE MUSHROOMS!

Fayt: What in the world was that!

Authoress' BV: Oh, that's just the cuss-guard. I just recently installed it. It's to stop my characters from cursing too badly.

Albel: Tch. Maggot.

Authoress' BV: Just start cooking already...Worm.(Authoress starts to laugh her head off before the voice leaves a pissed-off Albel, a confused Fayt, and a miraculously unharmed Sophia alone)

Fayt(looks at Albel):...Albel? Are you okay?

Albel takes out his sword, growls at Fayt, and then proceeds to beat the shitake mushrooms out of the oven...which is strangely unharmed after an hour of this treatment. Ah, the magic of fanfiction is a powerful thing.

Albel(clearly ticked-off):...mumble..mumble...soup...?

Fayt and Sophia: What'd you say?

Albel(yelling his head off): I asked HOW THE FU-

FUDGE MONKEYS!

Albel(continuing):DO YOU MAKE TOMATO SOUP!

Fayt(taking out a can of soup): Follow the directions. (Hands the can over to Albel)

Albel looks at it, then at Fayt, and then back to the can again. He scowls deeply. He looks back up to Fayt.

Fayt: What?

Albel: How the hell am I supposed to open this fool?

Fayt: Use a can opener.

Albel:...(takes his sword out and quickly decimates the can with a single swing, effectively spraying the contents onto Sophia and Fayt)

Fayt: Why'd you do that! (is currently wiping tomato paste off of his face and clothes...it's not working well)

Albel(in a very no-duh voice): You said to use a can opener, fool.

Fayt: And how does your SWORD equal as a can opener!

Albel(irritated): It's open, isn't it fool? (pours the remaining contents into a pot on the stove)

Fayt can't argue with that. And Sophia can't seem to get those tomato stains out of her clothes. So...we'll just blow her up. She's an eyesore anyway.

Sophia: (she goes boom!)

Fayt and Albel don't even notice a thing.

Albel: How long will this take fool!

Fayt: I have no idea.

( 5 minutes later )

Fayt: It's done!

Albel: Finally!

**THE END!**

A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed that. I know I did! Albel in an apron is always enjoyable to think about. (Laughs until she can't breath) Well anyway, see you guys later. Review please and tell me what ya think!


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